apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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