I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
