**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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