what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you never un-have a 4some
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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