Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize