Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize