She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
