Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize