If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
