How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You pole danced in your parka.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
