Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
