you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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