dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
