brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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