Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
