He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize