I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
