if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
