You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
