You're so nebulous sometimes
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize