I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Randomize
