All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
