Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
