Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
