I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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