Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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