Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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