remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
