his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
