I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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