bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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