are you still at the devil's house?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
