I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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