I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
