my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
