It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
