He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
