I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
