He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
