At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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