Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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