I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
