I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
