shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
