I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
