What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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