If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
