We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
