like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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