people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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