woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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