take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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