I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
