He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
