Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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