The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
50% drunk capacity currently
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
