I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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