"it" just moved
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
