Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
