well I can't set my house on fire every night
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
