So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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