he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
